Sex And Relationship Talk

Lockdown Loving: A Guide

Sistem Magazine regular Dionne is back with a new brand new piece that is sure to reignite your flame during lockdown. This is one for the lovers…

Firstly, we’re all friends here and we’re all adults. This short and sharp intro is because it’s about to get a little saucy…!
Right now, it probably feels like Groundhog Day; the shops are closed, your favourite restaurants have hiked up their prices on Deliveroo and you’ve pretty much watched everything you like on Netflix. But! There are certainly other ways to mix up your daily routine and ignite some fun back between dusk and dawn.

Sex, love-making, ‘aving a shag, slipping in a quickie… whatever you want to call it, I hope you’re doing it. Yes yes, I hear the cute cries of the babies birthed as a result of lockdown version one, but don’t worry, I’m not nearly trying to take you down a route you’ll be paying for for 18 years.

There’s a strong scientific link between sex and happiness (and let’s face it, we could all do with some cheer right now). But research shows it’s not about how many times you engage in the act that results in happiness; it’s about the quality and emotional connection between partners that really makes a difference to how we feel and helps release endorphins and oxytocin into our bodies.

These ‘happy’ hormones promote positive feelings such as pleasure, happiness, love and trust. And with that trust, you can and should be trying to spice things up a little with your loved one.

I’m a mum of two, so finding time for a long, intimate, love-making session just isn’t going to happen. As I sit here typing, I’m staring at a pile of washing that needs sorting and ironing that needs to be done before the lights go out. With such little time (which I know many parents can relate to) or if you’re lucky enough to be twiddling your thumbs, I want to motivate you into putting some thought into your next sexual encounter. You don’t need to overthink this. No, that’s not what this is about. Just think about what little things you can do to make the time you have together, one that is unforgettable and will that keep you smiling for a week!

For the women reading this, treat yourself to a few sets of alluring lingerie sets with the money you’re saving on travel. Spend a little time sprucing yourself up to remind him of what made him notice you in the first place. For the gents, do the same – don’t just buy her underwear that tantalises your nerve ends, give yourself a DIY shape up, dig out those Calvins, and for God’s sake do the washing up (she won’t be able to resist you!)

For those wanting to take it up a notch, think about introducing some helpful tools (*raises eyebrows*). Sex toys shouldn’t be taboo anymore. Like I said… we’re all friends and we’re all adults. Do not underestimate the pleasure that can come from open-mindedness. And whilst we’re here, I have to have to shout out Pleasure Drum. They are the first African diaspora range of wellness and pleasure solutions with a key target audience focused on mothers, couples and individuals of African descent or those with an association or love to the culture.

Their toys come wrapped in Kente; I mean how much more can this company talk to me??!

OK, ignore my crassness; I just want to make you smile and feel comfortable about making an effort to enjoy your love life in a period we all need some light, laughter and loving. Pick a time, pick a place, or just go with it. Whatever you do, remember the importance of fun and intimacy (and positively filling some of this spare time we seem to keep acquiring ;)).

Enjoy and be safe!

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